The 2012 Kit

The 2012 Kit

Sunday, March 27, 2011

US Airways Takes Me Home

Take me home tonight... Eddie Money.

What is the general etiquette when you are in a window seat and hydrate better than the others? As you can imagine based on my inquiry, I am struggling with a full bladder and ready to crawl over the two individuals slumped next to me in an undisturbed airplane slumber. Every 20 minutes, I decide to wait another 20. We took off three hours ago, though, and I got up once already. Won't the 4 eyed dutchy sitting middle take a hint? Does he have to release any matter? He sure likes to waste time with Sudoku and Word Searches. Not only that, he used money to buy a book full of them!

If you are one of those people, just don't.

I am just going to get my own plane so I don't have to deal with the difficulties of flying. Would I have to go through security? I can pilot a plane, please. Can't be any more complicated than the law, and the people that enforce that generally aren't doing anything impressive on the SAT's... if they took them.

I need to write another column for Jim on bestincycling.com. Sure, I have ideas, but I wouldn't mind if anyone had special requests for certain topics. Does anyone want me to discuss anything in particular? I'm open to pretty much anything from chocolate chip cookies to skydiving, but it should probably be related to cycling. Contact me. I'm at 30,000ft. If you are Chris, you'll text me at 3:00AM knowing I'm in Europe, asking me why I'm not having a St. Patrick's Day beer with him. I wasn't aware, but that comes of no surprise....whoosh! This dutchy just sneezed 5 consecutive times into his word search page. Oh, and he's holding back numberrrrrr! Whammy. Number 6. Gross. While I am traveling, these holidays..7...creep up on me. In 2009 New Year's...8...9?!...10 and he held his nose this time...11...this will be a book of numbers, soon...12... is this even worth recording? Abso-13-lutely. New Year's passed without a glimmering image of champagne and confetti or even a ridiculously large ball dropping.

For anyone wary 14 of the truth of this, I can only prove to you that the time it takes for him to sneeze is literally within the time it takes me to type the characters between each "sneeze number" at roughly 25 wpm. Fathom it. Oh, you might also catch some of his germs just 15 by reading this. At least he's awake. Maybe I will take this opportunity to go to the restroom and suggest he follows 16 suit. This 4 eyed dutch baldy is really lucky I am already pretty ill, otherwise I might have to...hell, I'd probably bite my lip and suffer the next 4 hrs just the same. Hell.

What isn't Lady Gaga Thinking?

Relocate. Stomp. Force. Antiaircraft missiles, Strenuous activity. Serenity, Black Panthers, Simplicity. Order, marks, dutch, ankle, monopoly, fabricate, anthrax, delicate, menagerie, new, brake, truth, keep, jowls, bass, stream.

Say, what do you think about the Mt. Washington Hillclimb? I want to do it sometime. I definitely want to do it correctly, though. I'd want an 8 lb bike and a dimpled skin to keep my edge on the competition. Either that or id like to do it in a gorilla suit on a mtn bike. Just to make my point.

Our team got everything stolen from them at Coppi e Bartali in Italy this week. Bikes, wheels, cables, housing, bike measuring tools, time trial bikes, tt bike measurements, everything. Nothing was left behind. I hope that shimano and colnago will be able to outfit the team soon enough with new equipment. Check ebay for our bikes and equipment...maybe you can get a good deal on some Shimano discs...
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1 comment:

  1. 3-30-11... very funny, or, you need a nap! Last night's news reported a bullet hole found in the USAirways plane? It apparently entered the cabin from the outside, above the plane...a fluke, they said. So, while you are literally dodging bullets and other life obstacles...hope you are rested by now and feeling up to SK. Do tell, love, Mum

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